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Reworked Drabble: Fascination

Been looking through some of my old work and have decided some of my really early stories (i.e. the ones less than 100 words) really are a bit too short. So heres one I have promoted to full drabble status.

Fascination – Bogwitch

Tara blew gently through cherry lips pursed in a chaste kiss.

The breath caught the delicate film held taut on the cheap plastic wand and it swelled and burst into swirls of pearly balls, which drifted away into the sunlight like Icarus on gossamer. Down they fell, drifting on light whispers. Some popped in midair, descending in a shower of sparkles; while others burst on the wall behind them, leaving a delicate ring of moisture like a mouth open in surprise.

Willow watched her lover, mesmerised by the dance of the spheres. There had to be magic in this moment.


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That is beautiful. Why aren't you a proffesional writer?

Because I'm a professional layabout.

That's a very fine line. Ever thought of crossing it?

I used to want to, I wanted to write for Smash Hits (back when it was cool) or write novels, but nowadays I'm not sure I want the pressure. Twelve Days nearly killed me! I also didn't do very well trying to get jobs that would use my writing skills, and I lost my confidence.

I think I'm not quite good enough anyway, but I think I'm getting better.

If I could write like you, I have a feeling my husband would tie me to the computer and force me to write a novel. Seriously. You have an incredible way with words!


I'm good at description but I struggle badly with plot and flow. And concentrating! I need to be tied to the computer.

Thanks. I just adore bubbles.

Thanks, I wanted to capture that moment.

Nice. You've got a gift for making everything wonderfully visual to your readers.

Thanks, I think it's because I see everything so clearly in my head, and I like using pretty words.

Lovely visuals. You set a magical mood, here.

Thank you, that was the intention!

sunlight like Icarus on gossamer.
::pets the absolute amazing perfection::
The last sentence is wonderful - I really like how you bring Willow in at the end.


I was always very proud of this little story(?), but it was only about 75 words and I couldn't think of anything to improve it and stretch it to a drabble until yesterday.

I really like how you bring Willow in at the end.

I never thought of it like that. In my head, she was always there!

Losing her was such a shame.

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