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My brain in in meltdown

My TENTACLETHON story is not going well.

Illyria seems farmore interested in Valentine's Day customs than she is in getting all wriggly. I wish she'd stop talking and decide to shag (Spike is drunk, he doesn't care). How on earth do I kick her into bed?

I am now 9 days into Ebay cold turkey. I can be strong!
(except if someone takes me into town and all through the shops, stopping at a phone shop and I needed a new mobile and there was a nice purple one that wanted to go home with me... Shit I've bought a microwave too and cushions and a duvet cover (it had a dragon on!) and underwear and DVD's no else knows about. OMG That's a £300 weekend).


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How on earth do I kick her into bed?

I don't think you should. T'aint natural, I tell you. Plus, no fair to take advantage of my boy when he's drunk. Nasty squidy thing.

Ignore me - I'm sulking because I couldn't do the challenge :(

Erm... can Illyria get drunk? Maybe she'd lose her Fred shape with her inhibitions ;)

I have no idea what Illyria eats, so I avoid that issue totally!

I can get her to squid stage, just not to the idea of sex in the first place, seeing as she sees everything as contemptible.

Spike is perfectly happy about it.

Illyria eats Petrie dishes.

She plays computer games - perhaps a hacked version of The Sims 2 might lead her into deciding to try fornication for herself?

Although maybe she'd just whizz off collecting fruit at high speed in the manner of Crash Bandicoot. Nobody's done a porno version of that, have they?

Noooooo!!! I don't need an intriguing tangent now! (love the Sims2 idea!)

Be strong, my friend. I've looked at the things that they've been selling on Ebay this week and it's all junk. Sidney Sheldon novels, macrame plant holders and Uggs. Yep, that's all there is. Just junk. Don't bother looking.

Re: <--In Solidarity

I don't know what an Ugg is.

Macrame plant holders, eh? How do you know I don't like them?

Re: <--In Solidarity

Uggs are ugly overpriced sheepskin Australian boots...very trendy at the moment.

And of course, I would know that. ;-)

Re: <--In Solidarity

Don't sound like my kind of thing.

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