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They shoot pit-ponies, don't they?

janedavitt is having a very interesting discussion on Fanon and Canon, although it's wandered of topic a bit (Sorry Jane!). Anyway as a result of ideas by Jane and paratti, I wrote this:

Spike/Buffy. Human/Pit Pony AU. With added character death.

They Shoot Pit Ponies, Don't They? by Bogwitch

She couldn't see. She hadn't seen anything for hours since the Davey Lamp went out with the rock fall. And she couldn't feel her leg, the one she'd kicked Ol'Doherty with last Friday as he'd tried to persuade her down Deep Shaft Number One. She thinks it's broken, but she doesn't have the strength to test it and her harness is pinning her down.
A dancing light in the darkness becomes a face, and it's Spike. She's his favourite. She knows, he's told her, every night back in the stable when he rubs her down.
"Oh, Buffy. Look at you." He holds her head in his lap and rubs her ears, not too manly for tears. He doesn't care that she's filthy, caked with coal dust and blood. He whispers a soft goodbye, tells her he loves her. Then brains her with his shovel.

I'm going to hell.

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Sounds like something our Spike should have done in season 6. {g}

That was pretty much the point!

You know, this is actually kinda sweet--until that last line! Hee! ;-)

It's a trademark I'm working on.

I feel so proud to have been a small part of inspiring this, uh, black diamond (is that what they used to call coal?) :;mists over::

Thanks, I'm very proud of it.

O.M.G I've written human AU! Anyone will hate me now!

The first one's always the hardest but after that,'re on a slippery slope now ;-)

Maybe people will notice me a now.

omg you evil hOr!

I die now.

paratti made me do it!

Okay, she didn't but I'm blaming her anyway.

Human AU!


Why did nobody stop me?

I lurve being a bad influence.

And look what you made me do.

There, there. It's not human AU. Buffy's a pit pony. It's bestiality AU!

Thank you. I feel so much better now.

Are you suggesting improper goings on in the stable?

I'm going to hell.
Yep, you deserve it, you are evil!

Then you're coming with me.

Bill Gates can whip your ass for eternity.

He's going to be there as well? Ok, coming with you, but who's gonna whip whom is not decided, yet!
I prefer warm places anyway, so hell will be a good place...

Maybe we should make him try to edit complicated documents in Word for eternity. Oh that actually seems to be my punishment.

Mhm, or make him look at webpages with a non MS browser, the pages designed with FrontPage.
Or set up a new project with - well - MS Project or we should wait till he launches his soon-to-be-finished antivirus software and make him use it. Can't wait for that one. Disaster ahoy!

the pages designed with FrontPage.


What?! Do you like FrontPage?
Whenever a page looks funny it's the fault of FrontPage, that's what I believe - prove me wrong!

I use Frontpage as it was the only one I could fathom (or didn't cost me much).

The anti-virus software that goes:

'Hello! Viruses? Over here! Infect me! Please? Go on.'


We are really tempting Bill fate tonight and it er he strikes back: first the power goes down here (but hello no problem - laptop here), then windows crashes for no apparent reason... I think big brother is watching us, or my computer is scared to death of the prospects...

It's quaking its keyboard at the thought of MS products.

And I thought you were such a nice person.

Nah, I'm lying. Poor pony. Fancy being saddled with a name like Buffy.

How is hell this time of year?

How is hell this time of year?

A bit parky, only 200 degrees or so.

Brrr. Seen anyone you know yet?

It seems yoggel and Bill Gates seem to be in attendance. Mariah Carey's here, but she's just tormenting the damned (not the punk band). Oh and Christopher Biggins.

Yay! It was brilliant! Perhaps it could have been more violent? Your best Spuffy ever! ;0)

LOL. It's certainly gone down well.

Perhaps it could have been more violent?

She's still a pony. Poor thing.

She's still a pony. Poor thing

Hmmm, well if you put it that way... You're all heart. ;0)

Still cheered me up no end though! :0)

I don't specifically say she's a pony...

I don't specifically say she's a pony...

Eiouw nice! She could have been a child. One of my dad's uncle's took great pleasure in telling me about kids working down the mines... though I don't actually think he was old enough to remember it. *shudder*

Have I ever mentioned that I should have been a coal miner called William? it's true!

I worry about you.

Oh good, I'm glad somebody does!

My dad comes from a coal-mining family. Goes back generations. The oldest son was always called William and always went down the pit. Of course he ruined it by joining the army and becoming a programmer and then I totally ruined things more by being a girl so I couldn't even be called William. True story. :0)

You could've been Willhemina.

You could've been Willhemina.

Arrrgh! Don't think it wasn't suggested! lol

*Snerk* I almost spat my cherry tomato out! Yeah, I'm eating cherry tomotoes before's a thing. Anyway...

I'm sooo very glad I friended you! Bwahahhahaha! ::cackles evilly with you:: If it wasn't so close to bedtime I might wander off to see firsthand the genius that inspired this. Also, love the song choice.

That was evil. Friending you now.

That's a fantastic reason to friend someone. Friended back.

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