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Scattypaws
bogwitch

More whinging

It's a real shame that Anya didn't have a spell for Spike in Entropy because I'm really interested in it right now.

I'm really fed of feeling this way. I just think I'm alright and the I fall apart again. I think the worst part is the loneliness and absence of intimacy. Lucky I have some nice friends, who didn't mind me clinging to them all weekend.

I want to get the flat and the financials together, but I'm so listless I can't face it. Bob has achieved the impossible and actually made me want to go to work - not that there is anything there to do but mope some more just with different people. The ironic thing is that he'd been trying to get me to eat more fruit for ages. Now the odd piece is about all I can stomach at the moment.

It's the last week before redundancy. I'm so, so glad I've got another job lined up.

It's a double dose of moving on. Just have to stick it out.

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I remember feeling the way you do after a painful break up. It was a long time ago, but I still remember how hard it was. I wish there were some magic words I could say, but alas ... time and all that rot.

::hugs::

I know it's something everyone goes through in their lives and is nothing unusual, but I've never felt this bad about anything, ever, even the deaths of my grand-parents. Probably because there's upheaval in almost evrything area of my life and my self-esteem isn't particulary great anyway.

I'll survive, as everyone does. Why can't I just go to sleep and wake up when I feel better?

You can do it. I know you can.

Yes. I can. I'm very bored with this now.

I felt the way you are feeling a year ago, I lost 6 pounds in two weeks and I felt worthless. Nothing I can tell you right now is going to make you feel better but know for sure that you'll be fine and take your time to mourn but always think about moving on. *hugs*

I know, but thank you. I think I've lost about 6lb already. It's hard to tell, my scales aren't very accurate.

I utterly sympathise. The pain is.....bloody painful. And it goes on too long. And it's lonely. Last January my husband of seven years abruptly walked out on me to go and live with one of his workmates who he said he had been having an affair with and was now in love with. I had no idea. I had a one-year-old and four-year-old kids. It was a complete nightmare. I thought I was going to die. The thing was -- I ended up being a lot stronger and he ended up a lot weaker. The two things people told me that helped were -- when you're feeling terrible, just concentrate on getting through the next half hour, or even the next 10 minutes. It's what alcoholics are supposed to do when they've gone off the booze. It's looking too far ahead that frightens the shit out of you. The other thing that worked for me -- talk about it with everyone. Get as much support as you can.

And hey -- I lost 40lb (coz I couldn't eat). Unfortunately I put it back on again, but.... it was actually better to be back enjoying food again rather than feeling like I wanted to die.

Best of luck.

Thanks. What you went through sounds much worse than than this, but it all still hurts. I can't eat either, just the minimum of fruit and I'm so shaky. How long does it last? 40lb!!

I'll make sure I take your advice to get through the day though.

How long does it last? Well, get through six weeks and things will be looking different. That does sound like a long time, I know, when you wonder how you're going to get through the day. Another thing my wise friend (the graduate of AA) said to me was that you have to feel the pain. It's the people who do anything to avoid feeling the pain (through drinking, drugging, eating, sex, any number of other avoiding behaviours) who end up in a power of shit.

Try to look after yourself as best you can -- just the basics -- eat a little bit when you can; try to get plenty of sleep (if you can't, get sleeping pills); bit of fresh air, lots of friendly shoulders etc.

Thinking of you.

I'm sleeping okay at least, even if the quality is shit.

Six weeks? Bugger.

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