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Meg and Mog - Mog [new]
bogwitch

Age Meme

curiouswombat gave me 22

Then: Age 22 (1995)

Lived: At home in Watford with my parents. I lived at home throughout my university life, which on one hand was probably a mistake, as I missed out on a lot (I had one drink the Student Union in three years), but on the other it meant I came out with no debt.

Drove: A an orangey red VW Polo which had been through a lot - me driving it into the central reservation of the M25, a new engine, numerous breakdowns, adventures in North London etc.

Relationship: None. My love life was a wide desolate wasteland, though I did meet my ex towards the end of this year (though he made me wait months).

Fear: Not many. Surgery mainly. Not getting a decent job. Telephones.

Work: I graduated university, but I was still stacking shelves in the supermarket part-time, so I really counted myself as unemployed. This was pretty much the start of my 18 month job search which resulted in severely reducing my expectations to get a job as an office junior. That pretty much set my course in life.

Wanted to be: A homeowner, someone with a good job in London (though I never did know quite what I wanted to actually do - and I still don't), a girlfriend.


Now: 40

Living: My own flat in Hemel Hempstead.

Drive: Black VW Bora. Interesting, these years cover both times I've had VWs. There have been a lot of other non-VWs in my life.

Relationship: None. Can't be bothered wasting time looking.

Fear: Medical problems mostly. Pain. Bills. Losing my cat again.

Work: As a PA in construction Health & Safety. My exact job title is a bit of a mirage and changes with who I'm speaking to. I make lots of pie charts and make documents look pretty.

Want: More money. A bigger flat. To be able to paint. To finish my WIP.

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Ooh - yes - fear of surgery. Even though I'm a nurse, and have had an emergency Caesarian section, I still have a fear of surgery!

I suppose it depends on the seriousness of the operation. I've had two keyhole surgeries now and I was okay with the second one, but the first they had had to send the anaesthetist to talk to me to calm me down,

Open heart surgery or brain surgery (especially that sort where the patient is still conscious) is still terrifying!

I had no idea you'd known your ex for so long! And weird to think you were in your early twenties just when the internet was kicking off (or not that weird; I've got used to it).

My weird not-really-agrophobia-but-general-worry-about-being-hassled-in-the-street is getting worse, I've noticed. Otherwise I fear my fears are all transient and situational.

It is nearly 10 years since we split up. Gulp.

When I graduated my parents gave me their computer (an old 386). I had a choice, get a CD ROM drive or go on the internet. I chose internet. And wow, the internet was a different place in 1995! But it's a double edged sword. Commercialisation improved things greatly, but the freedom has gone.

Good for you. Hassled for what? Selling or general ignorant nastiness?

I think we became friends very soon after you split up, so that's sort of a plus? (Although weeeiiirrd...)

The question is, were the slow, juddering pages of dodgy Comic Sans freedom more or less exciting and the slick corporate internet we have now?

Sort of both. Mostly it's a completely irrational and unfair fear that one of the Big Issue sellers/people who ask people for money are going to turn on me. Or just people smoking fags on street corners. Generally anyone loitering. Or walking slowly. I think I've sussed it that the problem is that walking around Cambridge is not like walking around Chorleywood, where there aren't that many people and they're all going somewhere, or London, where there's so many people that everyone is anonymous no matter what they're doing, and I've either lost the ability/never learned the ability to walk around comfortably where there's a mild sense of familiarity but also a strong sense of distance. Eh.

In hindsight, I am much better off with you.

Definitely less exciting, 9 out of 10 websites were rubbish. But at least you didn't feel exploited.

I always find London invigorating, like 'I am in LONDON! I am therefore important and part of 'IT' - whatever 'it' actually is, then I worry about pickpockets. I was actually drove through Chorleywood today, although I had never realised it extended as far as the turning for Loudwater.

Well, clearly! :D

Yeah; I miss that time in the middle, where what you could do online was just slightly ahead of people making money out of you doing it. But then I'm not sure the culture of free was especially helpful to anyone in the long run (even if I will never believe that internet downloads per se are the cause of the music industry's problems).

Yes! That's so true. It's like being part of a big sprawling organism, even if you don't know anyone around you. For some reason I'm less worried about pickpockets (an actually vaguely likely event) than people starting a confrontation with me. But then I do really hate conflict. And Chorleywood's pretty sprawly... Though I can never quite remember where Loudwater is.

It's funny, the industry I feel sorriest for is actually the software industry as they have no to little secondary revenue streams, but they've been the quietest. It seems like we are fighting not just over fair remuneration for artists but the right to make obscene amounts of money for record companies, which are becoming out-moded anyway. Problem is the world is changing and they refuse to.

I've never had a confrontation in London (a few in Watford mind you), even though I was in several minor car accidents (not all them my fault!).

Loudwater is between Choleywood Road and Croxley Green.

Yeah, that's very true. It sort of reminds me of the high street, because in my more optimistic mode I tend to think there will always be a market for brick and mortar shops, the problem is that the supermarket/HMV/warehouse-type model where people come to find shelves of everything but otherwise get no help is completely outmoded by the internet. With the software companies, though, I imagine their biggest clients are businesses, which is why Adobe doesn't crack down on rogue individuals the same way Sony, say, cracks down on people hacking their Playstations.

The other week some random woman had a go at me here for pressing the button on a pelican crossing 'for only two people' (it's not a very busy road most of the time, so you can usually fit in getting across between the buses and the bikes - but I felt like there was a queue, so we might as well get ourselves a go if we had one coming!)... Although I discovered in London that I've become one of those people that people think they can just shove past in a crowd, rather than say excuse me or get out of the way of. I don't know what's happened to my aura of confidence/no mess. I need to bring the hate a bit more.

But what about games though?

What an ignorant cow. You want to cross the road, you press the button. How many is the optimal amount of people allowed to cross? Are you suppose to wait forever?

I don't know how much games really get ripped off, because they do work very hard on that with codes and everything... And it's definitely true that the unit price of a single game feels a lot more expensive than it ever used to be.

I know! I was already halfway over the road by the time I managed to parse what she was saying through the headphones; then I was just a bit flustered, so carried on. Of all the things in the world to start a row over!

I'm not so sure these days with games where you download off a server, but codes made no difference. There were loads on the torrent sites, along with console games.

It's her problem, not yours.

I suppose I forget about torrenting; I'm so out of touch with gaming generally. Sigh!

Mega sigh!

Of course, this is all anecdotal evidence.

What other evidence does LJ deserve!

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