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Scattypaws
bogwitch

Ficlet: Animal Magnetism (Spike/?)

I was rooting round my HD today and found this bit of nonsense I wrote for sueworld2003. This is very silly, and really bad:



Animal Magnetism by Bogwitch

Spike knew he was gorgeous.

He had an animal magnetism; when he walked in a room the women sighed and the men stared, gaping. Whatever their orientation, he caught their eye; they all wanted him.

Unlife was good, and the Glastonbury festival was a feast. Nights spent watching bands, taking drugs and hanging out in the Dance tent, before slipping off in the early hours with some girl or other or both for a little hanky panky under the stars. No one missed the star children he dumped in the ditches at sunrise.

So he woke, Sunday morning lazy, dawn twilight warning of the sun rising over thin orange canvas, a pair of lips around his cock, clever tongue licking him to release - oh god yeah, just like that - snuffling his balls...

...snuffling...?

"BLOODY HELL!!"

Spike wakes half the campsite with his shout. The badger panics and disappears into the tent, dashing about, trying to burrow under the disorganised jumble of muddy boots and holey jumpers. Last night's conquest screams in terror and crashes back into the tent frame, bringing the whole lot down onto their heads. A terrified badger escapes the chaos into the hedgerow, an unwashed thong trailing from its snout.

“Bugger. You couldn’t finish me off love?”




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Is this one inspired by the icon you teased Sue about? LMAO! Brilliant and twisted and funny and yeah, Spike will get it on with just about anything.

I swear you people will read anything!

Hehe. I will!

Badger/Spike? OTP!

LMAO!

And to think I nearlt didn't post it at all.

Ha!

That badger didn't know what he was missing!

Great stuff!

It has a thong as a souvenir though.

*sigh* You don't get any better, do you? ;)

Why would you want me to? :P

It's the OTP to end all OTP's!

Bwah! And that last line... what did I *do* before I discovered fanfic???

Hee. I very nearly didn't go with that line too.

That was funny. Loved it.

Thanks, I don't what possessed me.

Ok, everyone does tentacles. Only you could do badgers. *g*

Tentacles are passe, badgers are IN!

*snuffling tea onto monitor*

I had to think for a moment what a badger actually looked like. My first mental picture was of a hedgehog. And that would just be wrong.

OMG *brain implodes*
This is a far cry from Wind in the Willows... I need to scrub those images from my brain now.
*scrubbing*

Was the badger male or female?? I need to know if I should file this under slash or hetero.

Hee! What do you want it to be?

Bwah!

And I was just thinking of going camping...

Just don't sleep naked.

Glastonbury and badgers - that's about tops for me.
snuffling his balls Absolutely hilarious. :D

I wrote before Glasto, can you tell?

Thanks for taking the chance!

Wacky and wonderful! You are so weird.

Ah, I love the workings of the Byzantine mind. Anyone can think outside the box. You are the only one I know who thinks outside the badger.

:)

I like figuring out how scenarios would work.

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