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bogwitch

Ficlet: Time Team Special

I'm coming to the conclusion that my muse is a little barmy.

Today I present a BtVS/Time Team crossover, all due to a dream starring Carenza Lewis and a discussion with shapinglight.

I suspect this is meaningless to half my friends list, but you just need to know archaeology is a spectator sport in Britain.




Time Team Special by Bogwitch


“It’s drawing to the end of day three here on Time Team and it’s a race against time to wrap up the dig at this Victorian Cemetery before the developers come in,” says Tony Robinson, flushed from a sprint over rough ground. “What have we discovered?”

Prof. Mick Aston, fearsome in his multi-coloured fright-jumper, probably knitted for him out of remnants of other knitting horrors by some old dear in Shrewsbury, points towards a muddy pit. “If you come over here to trench four, you’ll find Carenza has found something interesting.”

“What is it?” Tony asks, with the kind of enthusiasm that five-year-old boys display when they talk about dinosaurs.

Carenza Lewis stands up in the trench, muddy from her horsey green wellies to her blonde English Rose ponytail. “We’ve been excavating this area of disturbed earth that showed up a lot of noise on the Geophys. There appears to be a grave here, but there’s no sign of an actual burial.”

“That’s bizarre, given the age of this site,” Mick’s birds nest of white hair flails wildly in the wind. “It’s possible this grave was raided by bodysnatchers.”

“Bodysnatchers?” Tony asks with glee.

“Well, they were known to be operative round here in Whitechapel in the 1820’s. This cemetery spans a period from about 1800 to 1900, it’s possible this body was one of those taken.”

“Any finds?” asks Tony, knowing perfectly well that there were, as they’ve repeated this discussion three times already for the camera.

Carenza produces a small Perspex box. Sitting gently among the padding is the porcelain head of a delicate doll, one eye open and the other sealed closed with encrusted grime.

“It’s amazing, isn’t it?” says Carenza. “It still has the original hair and what look like traces of blood.”

Tony picks up the find and proudly presents it to the camera. “Does this mean we might have a child burial? One that perhaps met a violent end?”

Carenza bends down and starts scraping idly at nothing with her trowel. “We’ve measured the size of the grave and it appears to be adult sized. Oh wait a second…”

Under the anxious gaze of half a dozen archaeologists and a TV presenter with a Baldrick past, she starts to pick away at the dirt around a metallic object. Gently layer-by-layer, a treasure is revealed. Thin gold glints in the soggy ground until enough earth is stripped away to reveal a pair of gentlemen’s spectacles. They’re carefully lifted into another Perspex box and are delivered up to the professor for inspection.

“Oh, look at…” He starts, but is interrupted by an unruly voice from the sidelines.

“Oi! That’s me spot!” says a voice off camera in a shady spot. “And give me back my specs. I’ve been looking for those!”


.

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My brain goes on weird tangents.

Waaaaaah! Another winner!

I watch waaaay too much TT.

Have I told you lately that I love you?

No. You never write, you never call.

(Deleted comment)
Thank you. Love you too.

Spike claiming memorabelia of William. That's sweet disturbing.

You have no idea how many people have called my work distrubing in the last two days...

Yay! This is just fantastic!

One tiny grammar quibble;

“What is it?” Tony asks, with the kind of enthusiasm that five-year-old boys talk about dinosaurs. needs to have a couple of words inserted for it to make sense. It should say "with the kind of enthusiasm that five-year-old boys display when they talk about dinosaurs".

Okay, thanks. I didn't have it beta'd so all my fault.

Oh, that's just fantastic.

*giggles*

a TV presenter with a Baldrick past

Tony will never be free, will he? No matter what he does.

Sunday afternoon is silly ficlet time!

Tony will never be free, will he? No matter what he does.

Not unless he has a cunning plan.

One of the Great Cross-overs of all time!
Is there anything we can't cross BtVS and AtS with?
Imagine how much more fun the election coverage would have been if Dru had decided to join in....!

I mean we've just had the Formula One/Starwars crossover on ITV.....!

I will have to go - or I will still be cooking when Time Team starts!! Can't miss the beginning of Time Team! Is Phil possibly some type of lesser known Demon? I will consider the possibility at the cooker!

Is there anything we can't cross BtVS and AtS with?

Might have troble with Baywatch. All that sun...

Imagine how much more fun the election coverage would have been if Dru had decided to join in....!

If only!

I mean we've just had the Formula One/Starwars crossover on ITV.....!

I saw that! Weren't the pit crew's uniforms wonderful!

I will have to go - or I will still be cooking when Time Team starts!! Can't miss the beginning of Time Team! Is Phil possibly some type of lesser known Demon? I will consider the possibility at the cooker!

Bugger. Is that the time...

Hee: that was sidesplitting! And what do you mean disturbing. There weren't even tentacles! Though perhaps one week on Time Team there will be...

You never know what lurks in those burial mounds...

Oh bogwitch, you do so amuse and delight! This is simply wonderful.

Archaeology fic, eh? Whatever next? ;)

I mentioned this story to my husband yesterday (as we were watching Time Team) and he actually expressed an interest (which is *very* unusual). So today I sent him a link in an e-mail. This is what he replied:

Would have been funny if it had involved Tony Robinson getting his head bitten off. [...] Hardly seems like there's any point in writing a story about Time Team that doesn't involve violent and bloody carnage.

So if you feel like writing a bloody sequel, you'll have at least one avid reader... ;)

Typical man, always after the violence!

I'm guessing this is a TV show (and if not I'm going to look very silly) but I giggling away at the ending.

It is a TV show. They take a team of archaeologists to different sites across Britain and do a three day dig to see what they can find, usually bits of old Roman pottery.

Amougst the archaeologists are some characters:

http://www.channel4.com/history/timeteam/meet.html

Well done for trying to fathom it though!

Thanks, I hope it made sense to you.

I'm wiping the tears from my eyes...
“What is it?” Tony asks, with the kind of enthusiasm that five-year-old boys display when they talk about dinosaurs.
That is perfect! I love that TR is know for Time Team and Baldrick - two complete opposite extremes of the spectrum.
Spike was off-camera, surely that can't last for long?
Great fic! Do write a sequel, please do?!?! :)

Spikr had to remain off camera because it was daylight.

I'll think about a sequel, especially as I couldn't get Phil into this one!

I've never seen this show but I was giggling madly anyway. And it wasn't just my usual mad giggling either!

Surely the usual giggling is a cackle? *g*

I'm interested to know what you found funny, as I thought most of the humour was taking the piss out of real individuals.

Heeeee! I love Time Team, and this just rocked!

Is that the natural bedrock, or a filled in neolithic ditch? :)

Bwhahahahaha!

You have a strange and convoluted muse.

I like her :)

Keeps things interesting.

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