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Scattypaws
bogwitch

This journal is mine

I am Illyria.

This journal is pointless and annoying.

Your posts sicken me and I want to retch.

.

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I am your humble servant, Old One. I know my service - and even my worship - is pathetic and insignificant compared to your might, but I do know where you can find some lovely spines to rip out, should my own not suffice.

You are of no consequence, yet you honour me like too few in this pitable world. I shall spare you for now.

Oi! Smurfette! Leave the Bogwitch alone, luv. She's a right nice bint. I'll swap you a tasty Petrie dish for her. Might even let you have a go with my clipboard if you play your cards right.

Spike.

Your Petrie dish does not interest me. I have no need for writers of sub-standard episodes.

You try to lure me with items of no worth. This Bogwitch has power she shall serve me until I tire of her.

Please don't smite me, oh Royal Blueness. I have a message from Wesley. He wants to study the origins of your blue suit. Please go see him now so he won't shoot me.

Wesley?

My Wesley is dead. You lie to me to save your own pathetic existence. Your life is nothing.

Bwah! You should have Illyria open a free account and we can all add her! Remember Bub and Cardboard Spike? :-)

I have heard not of those of which you speak. I have no use for such things. Speak of this no more.

I will offer my humble adorations and wish to dedicate my worthless life to worshipping you!

I do not seek the worship of such base beings, tinted with the filth of humanity as you are. Yet you have free will and you shall do as you please, even as it disgusts me.

Oh Great One, may all your enemies thighs swell up with salt water!

Distub me not with such prattle.

My enemies fell at my feet, their bodies a bridge over a river of their blood and they were glad for it.

You cannot comprehend such glory as I was, mortal. The cage of this shell confines me to a shadow of what I once was.

I have not hung my enemies for Millenia. I can longer hear their screams.

::sniff:: Could you bring back Wesley please?

I too feel what is called mourning for my Wesley. It tastes like bile.

It is no longer in my power to change it.

So I gotta ask you, your oh-holy-ness. Can you like breathe in that outfit?

Breathing is for the low creatures. I have no use for it.

Right, well make sure he doesn't get a cheap knock-off. You want a La Cafetière.

Sorry about that, it seemed to go to the wrong place...

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